Set in the wild-wild East of 1990s Estonia, this performance traces a childhood shaped by two forces pulling in opposite directions: the instability of a newly independent country and the flood of Western culture rushing in. Somewhere in that mix appears the cowboy, straight from American TV – a symbol of freedom, confidence, and certainty. For a queer, female-bodied child growing up in a deeply patriarchal and homophobic environment, he becomes more than a character. He becomes a survival tool and a way to feel safe, to fit in, to pass as “normal”.

What starts as a childhood game, forms into an identity, teaching them to mimic the very systems they were struggling against. Patterns of patriarchy, performative masculinity and heteronormativity were absorbed, and in the process, parts of the self were denied—leaving them as a background character in their own life.

This performance stays within that tension: between survival and self-erasure, between who they are and who they learned to be – and asks what it takes to unlearn a role that once kept them alive.

Barbara Lehtna (1990) is a theatremaker and performer from Estonia. Her artistic processes have been primarily focused on exploring self-representation and expression of queer and female bodies within the liminal post-Soviet spaces. Barbara’s works are built upon a cross-disciplinary approach to working within different performance practices such as theatre, opera, and dance. Her processes often involve inquiring into personal archives, everydayness, and humor.

In 2021 she graduated with an MA degree in Performance Practices from ArtEZ University of Arts in the Netherlands and in 2026 from the Amsterdam University of Arts as a research fellow from DAS THIRD Research Program.

Through the years, Barbara has had a chance to work with such renowned artists as Doris Uhlich, Julian Hetzel, and Chris Kondek among others, which has led Barbara to distinguish her own style of inquisitive performance which emerges in a variety of settings.

Barbara believes that art should be intimate and always political.